(upbeat music) - In a world that's more connected than ever, more women are feeling more alone than ever, alone and isolated.

Women and loneliness, coming up next on Inspire.

(electricity buzzing) (calm music) - [Announcer] Inspire is sponsored by the estate of Ray and Anne Goldsmith.

- [Announcer 2] And the Raymond C and Marguerite Gibson Foundation And- - [Announcer] Friends of KTWU.

We appreciate your financial support.

Thank you.

(calm music) (upbeat music) - Hello, welcome to Inspire.

I'm excited to be here with my co-host, Danielle Norwood and Dr. Amber Dickinson, and you.

We are so glad.

About one third of us, ages 45 and older, report feeling lonely and due to an increased number of aging adults, the number is growing.

- People who are lonely and socially isolated are more likely to have health problems.

The US Surgeon General is called loneliness an epidemic, releasing a report that found that loneliness increases the risk of premature death by 26%.

- Here with us today to discuss the impacts of loneliness and isolation on society is Dr. Bassima Schebly, associate Professor of Social work at Washburn University, and Jenny Lamb, social work lecturer at Washburn University.

Welcome to Inspire.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Let's get a working definition about the word alone as well as loneliness, because some people might not get what the differences between the two things are.

And personally I can say that I've been in both camps, so I want to differentiate between the two.

So let's get that definition between the two.

I'll let you start.

- Loneliness is more of a qualitative term.

It's a feeling, I feel lonely, so it's more subjective than social isolation, or reducing social activities, where activities can be, you know, quantitatively reduced.

However, when a person is lonely, sometimes it could be by choice.

And we also, loneliness, we must take in consideration cultural factors as well.

Some people might appear to be lonely, or very lonely, however, maybe this is by choice or their culture.

A lot of women don't feel as confident to socialize from various cultures, so- - Okay.

Jenny, what would you say?

- So I would say loneliness, very similar to Dr. Schebly, is a sensation, a feeling that we have, secondary to feeling maybe left out, feeling like we have a lack of companionship, or a lack of relationships in our life.

And it can sprout from multiple spaces, including social disconnectedness.

So again, social isolation can cause some loneliness, but loneliness isn't always just our own intrinsic problem.

It's a societal piece to it too.

- When we're looking at the issue of loneliness and knowing that it is currently an epidemic, what are some of the mental health impacts that we see people experiencing when they're going through episodes or feelings of loneliness?

- Definitely there are many, including depression, in some cases, suicidal ideation, not eating, overeating, relying heavily on social media, watching TV, or being on Instagram and such most of the time, and making excuses, neglecting yourself care.

So there are many, many consequences.

- Tremendous impacts.

- Yes.

- Absolutely.

- And we talked about in the open people ages 45 and up, but this affects younger people as well.

How so Jenny?

- So research is showing that around 60% of young adults too are experiencing loneliness.

And so are kiddos, we have kiddos experiencing loneliness as well.

So it's definitely not something that is just in one demographic alone, it's across the board.

- What effect would you say that Covid had on this particular issue?

- I think it had a profound impact, people were put into isolation as a way of protection, so that staying disconnected became somewhat reinforced.

And then people had to kind of figure out how to come back out of that and reengage with others, which can be really hard in the first place, without having had to take a pause and a step back.

- So when we look at this idea of loneliness, and you discussed ways in which it impacts mental health, what is the connection between loneliness, mental health and our physical health?

- So there's a pretty big connection.

Another space that we see loneliness impacting health is in memory.

So we can see onset of some things that could be dementia, or could look like dementia, but we also see increased risk for obesity, heart attacks, stroke, and as you said in the open, life expectancy can decrease.

- One of the concerns that I have, and I know we have just a short time before we go to break, is talking about older generations, especially people who are in care facilities, because they seem to be closed off, maybe they don't have family around them.

Talk about how people who are in those situations can be able to have somebody, you know, help them in terms of the loneliness, because you have a staff that's busy with other people, maybe they don't have family to reach out to them.

What can we do to help them with those situations?

- Most important thing in my opinion is to show empathy.

- Mm hm.

- And understanding and have good listening skills.

Not quickly give advice, or just tell someone you need to snap out of it, or you're not gonna make it.

A lot of older people, if they lose their love partners or partner in life, men tend not to do as well as women.

Women would do a little bit better, because women, they have a more of coping skills, by having friends and social networks, as they they talk, they're more able to express feelings, where men are at a higher risk.

Listening and giving them hope.

Hope is a huge thing.

And make sure, identify strengths these people have, and work from the strengths and build up, and make sure they know that they have a meaning and they are important and they're able to contribute.

And in some cases maybe volunteer a little bit, or get involved in the community, you know, community engagement is very important.

- Well, this has been an excellent discussion so far and we will continue it.

Hopefully there's something that you are thinking about that we'll answer next.

Please stay with us.

(upbeat music) - And we're back.

We've been talking to Dr. Bassima Schebly and Jenny Lamb with the Washburn University Social Work Department about the impacts of loneliness and isolation on women.

And this hits home with me because I grew up with a grandmother and a great-grandmother, and I don't think that either of them stopped to think about their mental health or emotional health.

I think they just basically did, and just basically whatever happened is whatever happened.

But I'm sure that the impacts of their lives they had to deal with in their older ages.

But my grandmother, as you talked about volunteering, was involved in a lot of things, which helped her in her later life before she died.

One of the things that I do wanna talk about is the impact in terms of low income, because a lot of people do not have a lot of money to go get, you know, counseling.

And when we're talking about food and making sure that we have healthy choices, people are struggling just to get, you know, pharmaceuticals.

They don't have money to go out and do anything beyond the necessary things.

So how does having low income play a part in, you know, loneliness and doing the things that people need to, to get the proper care?

- Major, major.

A low income has a direct correlation with people avoiding activities, because a lot of activities cost money.

And if you think about it, even if you go to church and you might wanna put in a donation or...

So, it puts people in a vulnerable position and it actually increases health risks, including, you know, cardiovascular disease, and depression, obesity.

People avoid because there's a lot of stigma from society.

So people with lower income, like you said, especially with medications, they might not be able to afford certain needed medications that's not covered, if they have Medicaid even, so they do without a lot of things, they end up eating less quality food or unhealthy food, or stay contained, you know, home, just costs money to do anything almost, to go out, drive a car, it costs money, go to the park, you know, you need gas, you need resources.

So the lack of resources.

- Yeah, I think too, when we think about low income, we also have to think about geography.

And where might low income restrict my opportunity, in terms of where I live, and what communal activities are near to me?

You know, so if I'm living in a neighborhood, or a city, or rural space as a low income earner, or no income earner, you know, that means that my community might also be lacking in resources and income.

So if I don't have transportation or a car, it doesn't mean that I can walk somewhere even.

Right, what's the walkability of my community?

What's the safety of my community?

What's the makeup of my community?

You know, when we were talking a little bit about some cultural pieces earlier, if there are limited people who are like me in my community, do I feel like I belong?

And these things all contribute to loneliness.

- So we're definitely getting the understanding that, you know, low income is certainly going to impact this.

Your ability to get out of this situation, this idea of sort of zip code destiny, where you live is going to dictate the scope of your life and the resources you have access to.

Let's talk about another element of this, in terms of cultural norms and expectations.

How does that play into this idea of people getting help with the loneliness they're experiencing?

- So in terms of cultural norms, and speaking of women specifically, some of the ways that women mask their loneliness, is to kind of buy into this hustle culture, this notion that I have to always be going, always be working, always be producing, always stay connected, and really mask any loneliness that I experience.

I think that that sometimes also says that I shouldn't have to ask for help.

And so that restricts somebody's openness to, one, just saying speaking their loneliness, because it takes vulnerability to do that to another person, let alone taking the next step to reach out and ask for help in them.

- Go ahead.

- And in some cases, I'll give you like a specific example about the specific culture, Middle Eastern women, and some, you know, of the Asian cultures.

I've noticed women don't necessarily want to speak up and socialize.

And it's not because they're lonely, but because it's cultural expectations.

When you talk to them individually, they will say, "No, I'm not lonely at all."

But, you know, they're more often listeners and observers.

So not everyone who appears to be lonely is lonely.

A lot of cultures expect, you know, expectations that women don't over socialize.

And so... - And what are some ways- - And let me say, like maybe from African American standpoint too, a pride element.

- Yes.

- Because we don't want to be seen as having to be needing of anything, that we're very strong people as a culture.

- Excellent.

- So we don't want to be seen in a vulnerable position.

- Yes.

- So we're very strong and very, very proud.

Now we are fine, how can we help you?

I just wanted to throw that in, go ahead.

- (laughing) I just wanted to know how to recognize it.

You know, if you see somebody on the street, you see somebody at the gym, or the library, the grocery store, how can we be helpful by recognizing it in someone?

- To be sincere, genuine, show empathy and talk to the person.

Be honest.

Try to find a way, if you are concerned, to let them know that you feel like they are needing to talk.

Or how can I help you?

I might not be able to help a lot, but what can I do?

And just mean it.

Sometimes I notice people say, hi, how are you?

And they keep walking, they really don't want to know, you know?

- Yeah, right.

- But in these cases, we cannot afford to really just talk, without, you know, action.

You know, we just show serious genuineness and people usually talk to you.

- What about social media?

How does social media play into this?

We don't have much time left and we've opened a huge can of worms here.

- Yeah.

- But briefly, I suppose a comment could be made on, is it a remedy for loneliness to engage in social media, or is this contributing to this problem?

- I believe it's contributing.

- Contributing.

- As a major contributor.

The more time you spend watching or engaging in social media, the less time you are practicing self care, or intellectual activities.

Like I have on my phone word search, whenever I have 10 minutes, I try to spend five minutes and I'm getting actually better and better.

People who use social media a lot, I believe research indicates that they tend to show less in their cognitive abilities.

So there is a decline, and it can be depressing because of a lot of the makeup and all people might not be able to look like the women on social media.

- Right.

- Yeah, it can create kind of a false narrative, a false expectation of how other people are doing.

And people often feel alone in their loneliness, so...

But we forget that many people are experiencing this, but social media can make it look like nobody is experiencing this.

- Right.

- There must be something wrong with me that I feel this way and that just isn't the case.

So I think that's one way that social media can be detrimental as well.

- This has been wonderful information.

Thank you so much for your brilliant insight.

This is an extremely timely topic and we are so excited to continue looking at these ideas of how we can engage in our communities by visiting a group of friends who are crushing it in the sport of roller derby.

Stay with us.

(upbeat music) (upbeat rock music) - So we have our, like we call it your government name.

My government name is Ashley Weber and my roller derby name is Ms. Bea Haven.

So I am the captain of the Capital City Crushers.

This is my second year as the captain.

And my fifth year on the team, I joined after my bariatric surgeon told me that I needed to find a exercise program.

And I always really had been interested in roller derby, but was unable to do so physically.

And I had the opportunity and I came to a roller derby bout, and I showed up and they were absolutely so welcoming.

I was so weak when I first started because I had never exercised really before.

They literally not only taught me how to skate, but picked me up off the floor when I couldn't do it myself.

- My name is Shelby, my roller derby name is Cereal Killer.

I've been playing roller derby for about 10 years, but I've spent about three or four of those on the Crushers.

I started on our junior team, at the time they were called the Chick Whips, but right now they're called Ad Astra Junior Roller Derby.

I played on that team for about eight-ish years.

I started actually because my sixth grade teacher, Scarlet (indistinct) played roller derby.

I had previous skating experience, but I never really got into roller derby until I kind of met her.

And I remember the first day of school she gave us an introduction, and one of the big things was she played roller derby and I thought it was pretty cool, she skated and I skated, so I joined.

So I am primarily a pivot.

And basically what that is, is a person with a a stripe on their head and they're pretty much like the backup jammer, or the backup star person, or point scorer.

- My name is Tracy Cass.

My derby name is Luna Shovegood.

I am currently the executive director of the Capital City Crushers and I also do bout production.

On the track, I am usually a blocker because I don't have the speed or the agility as much as some of the jammers do, but I am sturdy and I am strong, and I'm really good at knocking people down and stopping them from getting past me.

This is Bashing Baby Doll, played with the Chick Whips, aged out.

They're phenomenal.

And we have Steel.

- Hi.

- Who also used to play on the Chick Whips.

We have Ruthless right here, number 25, who aged up and joined the Crushers.

And she also coaches the junior team with me now.

- [Steel] And this one.

- And Bella Donna.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

- The friendships here have really been fantastic.

I talked to some of these folks more than I talk to the people that I've been to high school with, which is really kind of phenomenal.

You know, we spend a lot of time together.

We spend four hours a week together on the track.

We travel together, you know, we're going to Dallas here for a really big tournament in the end of March.

We're ranked nationally, and within our region as well.

And so we're gonna be traveling as a team, we're gonna be staying in a team house together.

And usually our spouses are involved.

And so there's all these things that kind of interconnect us.

And we have end of the year parties at people's houses, where we really kind of just don't do derby and we just celebrate each other and have that time together.

Same with like after parties, after bouts, we'll go and we'll try to spend time with our fans, to spend time with our families.

'Cause oftentimes those are our fans and do those things together after the bouts.

So it's a lot of fun.

- I think because roller derby is such a small niche community, I feel like we put a lot of effort into making it successful.

Just because we don't have a lot of that, like funding and backing.

We have to do everything on our own.

It's all kind of self-sufficient.

And I think that just creates a really good community.

And just being around all the girls and skaters and individuals.

It's just a really cool, unique community.

(rock music) (upbeat music) - And we thank the Capital City Crushers roller derby team.

Now, there's something we could do, you guys, (co-hosts laughing) to keep ourselves engaged physically, mentally, make sure you're not gonna get the heck beaten outta you.

(co-hosts laughing) You know, but talking about loneliness, woo, you gotta be thinking.

- We wouldn't be lonely.

- [Betty] No.

- You would not be.

- [Betty] So what did you think about that?

- So it was really making me think about this idea of how do we connect people to resources that are reasonable for where they're at?

Right?

If you don't have money, if you are in a geographic location that doesn't get you somewhere, how do we combat that?

And really the conclusion that I come to in my mind is, you can't do this alone.

There have to be some kind of resources coming from other areas.

So things like public transportation, or more free opportunities that are open to the community.

Those things certainly exist, but you can't get there.

Right?

- Right.

- If you don't have a car, if you don't have money for gas.

And so it really makes me think that it's contingent upon our community leaders to look at this epidemic, and address it just like you would address any other kind of health epidemic.

- Right.

Well, and then we were talking about the library.

Well, you have to get to the library.

- Mm hm.

- But they have so many free programs.

You know, even if you go to areas, communities that have the little book libraries, get a book out, take your kids for a walk.

There are ways that we can do it, but I think it's incumbent upon us as well to seek out somebody who may need a cheery hello, a helpful hand, a greeting, whatever.

- I'm thinking about food deserts, to also go along with what you just said.

Because again, there's so many areas within our community that don't have a grocery store that people can get to.

- Right.

- So you're trying to get proper food, but you've got a convenience store that's filled with a lot of improper foods.

- Right.

- So it's like we need those places.

And we need education on how to make the healthy foods, you know, taste good.

'Cause you're not gonna eat a rutabaga- - Right.

- If you don't know what to do with it.

So, I mean, just little things.

So again, it all comes down to resources.

- Right, well, you were talking about the stores.

So the article you read, please share that.

- Oh, which article I read about?

(indistinct cross chattering) Thank you.

Yes, so there's an initiative in Sweden or Switzerland, and they have grocery stores set up with these specific lines designated for people who need to have a conversation with someone.

And you get into the line knowing, I'm gonna wait a little longer, but I get to have this human interaction.

And I think that's the key component.

And the takeaway from that article is it's human interaction.

It's not these false social interactions we're having in this artificial world online.

We really have to pull ourselves out of that, and help other people pull themselves out of that.

You know, find people, start a book club, go to the library if you can get there, engage in the programs they have.

And even if you just do it on a micro level, put that phone down for a couple minutes a day and see what might come from it.

And getting away from those devices that are encouraging this epidemic.

There's no mystery here.

There is a connection between our virtual activity and the rise of loneliness in our communities there.

We gotta walk away from 'em.

- Absolutely.

- Plenty of things that AI cannot do.

- Right.

- May I say.

- Yeah, give you a hug.

- That's right.

- So next time that you're thinking about, okay, I'm just gonna text that person, call 'em instead, you know, go down the hall and visit your coworkers.

And that is all the time we have for today.

But stay with us because we love having you.

We know you're out there.

So thank you.

We hope you've been inspired by today's conversations.

And as a reminder, you can watch this program again at 'watch.ktwu.org'.

- And if you are so inspired to learn more about our guests, find out what is coming up on future shows and get access to additional content, be sure to visit our website at 'www.ktwu.org/inspire'.

- Inspiring women, inspiring conversation, inspiring you on KTWU.

Thank you for watching.

(bright upbeat music) - [Announcer] Inspire is sponsored by the estate of Ray and Ann Goldsmith.

- [Announcer 2] And the Raymond C and Marguerite Gibson Foundation.

And- - [Announcer] Friends of KTWU.

We appreciate your financial support.

Thank you.

(calm music)