(upbeat music) - Many of us enjoy a glass of wine or a drink after a long day, but at what cost?

How much is too much?

And what is the impact of alcohol on our health as we age?

Understanding the effects of alcohol on women, stay with us.

(ethereal music) - [Announcer] "Inspire" is sponsored by the estate of Ray and Anne Goldsmith.

- [Announcer] And the Raymond C. and Marguerite Gibson Foundation and... - [Announcer] Friends of KTWU.

We appreciate your financial support, thank you.

(upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Hello and welcome to "Inspire".

I'm so excited to be here with my "Inspire" sister, Betty Lou Pardue.

And I'm excited to be here with all of you.

How many of us have joined their fellow sisters to unwind with the drink after a long day?

It's become a lifestyle that many of us don't even think twice about, but should we?

- Maybe so, Danielle.

The effects of alcohol on women are different than on men.

And there are multiple health risks to our routine alcoholic beverage that can have an effect on us as we age.

- Joining us now to talk about the impact of alcohol on women is Nancy Lollman of New Dawn Wellness and Recovery.

Nancy, thank you so much for joining us on "Inspire" today.

- Glad to be here.

- Talk to us about the differences in terms of the way alcohol impacts women versus how it impacts men.

- Well, one of the main differences is that the metabolism of men and women is different.

Women's metabolism is slower, so therefore the toxins of alcohol stay in a woman's body longer than in a man's.

Also, women are generally smaller than men.

And if they drink the same amount of a man, they actually...

The alcohol actually has more effect on their body than it would a man just because of the proportionate size.

- Let's talk about...

It's gonna be something that women are thinking about.

How does it age you when you drink?

- Women tend to have more reaction, more effects of alcohol at a younger age than men.

It affects their internal organs, of course.

And it also affects their brain.

There's a atrophy to the brain that can develop in people that drink too much.

And, of course, this causes cognitive decline, can even bring on such things that look like Alzheimer's.

Women that drink a lot of alcohol starting early in life generally don't live as long as men do.

This is...

In fact, the statistics say that 50 to 100% of women that are heavy drinkers will not live as long as a man that's a heavy drinker.

- Oh, my goodness!

How would you define alcoholism?

I'm sure that we all know women, maybe some teenagers who started early.

And they're thinking, "Oh, we used to drink back in the day.

And we had a good time."

And they don't see that what they called partying was that big of a deal.

Talk about what alcoholism is.

Define that for us.

- Well, alcoholism was declared a disease in the '50s by the American Medical Association.

And it's a progressive, chronic, and fatal disease.

You know, we say that a person is in recovery.

We don't say that they are recovered because a person that drinks, and then they go back to drinking, they're likely to end up exactly where they were before or worse off if they start drinking again.

The disease can be controlled just like any other chronic disease can be controlled.

But the control is simply not to drink.

And sometimes that's not such a simple thing to do.

- Yeah, and that's where you come in at the, at your center where you explain how you can help treat and get somebody involved.

- Well, the main thing is probably acceptance that the person has a problem, that there's an issue there with alcohol.

And the sooner that they recognize that there is an issue, the easier it is for them to get into recovery.

If they wait 'til late stage addiction, it's sometimes can be pretty difficult to get into recovery.

We look at all kinds of things in the person's life.

You know, have they been abused as a kid?

Were they abused as an adult?

Are they homeless?

You know, what kind of relationships do they have?

You know, what's their spirituality?

We pretty much touch every part of the person's life when they're in treatment, help 'em sort things out.

You know, what made them turn to alcohol in the first place?

- You mentioned some signs that, you know, maybe a a bit of memory loss, that type of thing.

What are some other signs that we, as their friends and/or family members, could see that we could maybe start to do something about now?

- Okay.

If you see somebody...

If they are spending a lot of time drinking or a lot of time being sick, like recovering from the drink, spending a lot of time in activities that involve alcohol, or not wanting to go to activities where alcohol's not involved.

- Yeah.

- Cravings, you know, strong desires.

Maybe some interference at work, or school, or home.

You know, they're not performing up to what they used to perform up to.

Loss of friends, you know.

Sometimes people say, "Hey, I'm gone."

You know, you're not the same person you used to be.

And so, they lose friends.

Sometimes there's problems in their significant relationships.

This can either start before or after the alcohol becomes a problem.

They might have some psychological or physical health problems that either were created by the alcohol use or made worse by the alcohol use.

One of the major signs of addiction is tolerance.

They'd have to drink more and more to get the same effect.

- Absolutely.

Would you say, and this is just me taking a guess, that maybe women are more solitary in terms of drinking, in terms of like being by themselves, alone, versus a guy drinking more as a social thing with their buddies, or maybe going to a sporting event, or going to a bar 'cause I know sometimes, some of the women that I know that struggle with this do so alone.

They go and they're in their houses.

And people don't even know that they're struggling with this because there's a certain amount of shame attached to it.

Is that a thought?

- Yeah, there's a lot of shame attached to addiction.

And women seem to carry that shame more than men.

And yes, women a lot of times also are solitary drinkers.

They drink at home.

They don't go to bars.

And they might end up drinking more at home than if they went to a bar.

You know, they'll have a... - Because they don't wanna bring attention to themselves, would you say?

- That could be, yeah.

Or they just feel more comfortable being at home drinking.

But they might have a tendency to finish the bottle of wine, rather than just having a glass or two.

if they're home alone.

- Well, we're just scratchin' the surface on this.

We definitely need to have you back because there's so much that we need to learn about this, and how we can step in to talk to our friends and maybe try to intervene in this particular situation if we know that somebody is struggling.

So thank you so much for joining us on "Inspire" today.

We really appreciate you.

- Well, thank you for having me.

- Absolutely.

We are going to take a short break.

But we'll be right back to talk about a new way of catching up with our sisters.

And did somebody say zero alcohol cocktails?

We're gonna be right back.

(upbeat music) - We are back, and it's our pleasure to introduce Emily Kate Johnson of Nostalgia Room, a bar in Lawrence that serves non-alcoholic beverages and coffee drinks.

Emily, we are so glad you're here today.

Now, we wanna dispel the myth of a mocktail.

Would you please do that?

- Yes, we at The Nostalgia Room, while mocktail is a term that people really recognize and are familiar with, it also is a term that is slightly degrading to what we do in the non-alcoholic industry.

What we're making are still cocktails.

They're still full of really thoughtfully made ingredients, things that we make ourselves.

They are very much cocktails still.

They just don't contain alcohol.

And really, cocktails don't have to contain alcohol to be called that.

So that I think that while mocktail is a term that's become kind of accessible for people to use, it's also the way that we talk and the way we use our language is really important.

So we're just kind of trying to move that needle forward.

- Why did you decide to get into this?

- It wasn't really an option.

I... (laughs) I had been a bartender for almost 10 years.

I have been sober for three.

And I just applied everything that I learned in my trade to this kind of niche section of it that's really finding a lot of momentum.

And I think people are really appreciating that when they go out, they can have a drink that's both really well crafted and something that doesn't contain any alcohol.

- Part of the thing about being in business and going to a "bar" is the comradery, everybody getting together.

Would you explain the ambiance in The Nostalgia Room?

- Yeah, so The Nostalgia Room is actually named for a room in my grandparents' house.

And it was a room that contained floor to ceiling photos of the family, people, you know, people's school papers, all sorts of stuff.

And that was where my grandparents would sit and drink their coffee, and look at pictures of their family, and talk about their family.

My grandfather got sober in 1961 and is a...

If he hadn't, I don't know if I'd be here.

I battled with addiction myself.

And he and I both got through it, which is great.

(laughs) And this is a little bit in his honor, this space, The Nostalgia Room.

It's kind of trying to create this comfortable, yet safe experience that also is gonna push some boundaries, and asking people to think a little bit more about how they interact with others, how they socialize, what imbibing really means.

It just kind of...

It kind of elevates the conversation about what it means when we go out.

What are we looking for, you know?

- Which I think is beautiful.

I experienced Dryuary for the first time when my friend decided that she wanted to do it.

I'm like, I'll just go ahead and do it with you.

Didn't really have an issue with it.

But I'm noticing that when I was doing it, there are so many places that do serve wine and beer.

And they really didn't have alternatives for people who wanted to do something different.

Talk about your experiences with that.

- At this point, there is no more excuses for not having NA wine or NA beer or your establishment.

It's like super accessible.

Anybody that has questions about, send me an email.

(laughs) Because really, there are so many options that not having it is just...

There's just not an excuse.

It's like, you know...

But I understand the difficulty in providing really good cocktails 'cause that does... You have to be just a good bartender at your base.

And I think a lot of people got into the industry wanting to bring the non-alcoholic experience to people, but not as bartenders, as people that were sober, which is great.

But I also think that there are those of us who... You know, the service industry is my life.

It's been my bread and butter since I was 17-years-old.

And I have so much respect for it.

But it also chewed me up and spit me out.

And I'm trying to figure out how to kind of bring people together in the service industry and create a place for bartenders and everybody to kind of have a way to enjoy it.

- All right, let's mix some stuff up.

What's the location and what are you gonna make?

- We are at 412 East Ninth Street.

That's our, we like to call it our (speaks indistinctly) location.

We were ran a small incubator space before that, and then we moved to this historic...

It used to be a grocery store.

It's in the heart of East Lawrence.

It has a great history.

We're really proud to be stewards of that building, and to bring the community back into it also.

Let's see, I brought a few things.

So first of all, we make all of our ingredients in-house, most of them anyway.

And anything we don't make, we source really thoughtfully.

Two things that we make are this lime cordial and orange cordial.

- Nice!

- That's gonna be a really great ingredient in any cocktail.

It gives you some body, some citrus.

But I think what we should taste first is the Gimlet.

- [Danielle] Okay.

- Oh, I just love it because it looks like an apothecary.

- It does.

- [Emily] I know.

- You're just mixing and mixing.

- [Emily] I am.

- [Betty Lou] This is wonderful.

- [Emily] Let me get my ice out.

- And what is the atmosphere like?

Because a lot of people might say, well, you almost need to have like a spirit in order to have like a fun, elevated time.

But obviously, that's not true.

Talk about what the atmosphere is like there.

- It feels... People call it America's living room.

- Oh, wow.

- Which I think is great.

- Oh, yay!

- People... - That's good.

- It feels really comfortable, really homey.

It's a place you can get work done.

But it's also a place you can relax and have a great conversation.

It feels just clearheaded in there because... And our standard for how we socialize is a little bit higher.

A lot of consent, a lot of making sure that everybody's onboard with what we're doing.

So this first thing is a Gimlet.

- Right.

- And what is a Gimlet?

- So a Gimlet traditionally...

Excuse me.

- [Danielle] That's okay.

- [Betty Lou] No, that's good.

- [Emily] 10 years of bartending.

Those were my skills.

(all laugh) - Thank you, thank you.

- All right, so this is... A Gimlet is a traditional cocktail.

- Oh wow, cheers.

- Usually, with gin as its base.

We have used a gin alternative.

And it's, yeah.

- This tastes healthy.

- I mean, it's it's healthy for you.

Yeah, in that everything in there is made.

It's fresh juice, fresh cordial we make ourselves.

The base spirit is actually an NA spirit from England that's like a coastal spirit out of Cornwall.

It's very cool.

- [Betty Lou] Yeah.

- And then we do our own bitter infusion, which is where you're getting kind of that warm wood and... - Yeah.

- Warm wood.

- Oh, I love it, I love this warm wood.

- I say it sounds very Harry Potterish when you said warm wood.

- Yes, yes, it is.

And that's the thing is like building cocktails like this, like rebuilding a classic cocktail in its non-alcoholic form is like tearing it down, and then rebuilding it with all of your, all of the alchemy.

It's almost more like cooking in a lot of ways.

- Wow, is this one of the more popular ones?

- That one is.

It is, but also it's one I'm just very proud of because a Gimlet is difficult because it...

I mean, I mean, a Gimlet is mostly alcohol in an alcoholic version.

So when you remove the alcohol, you're trying to replace two ounces of something pretty potent.

And how do you do that with things that don't have any alcohol content?

- I say you've replaced it.

- And did a very good job of it.

- You tear it down and you say like, what does the Gimlet do?

A Gimlet is citrusy.

It is sweet, but it's also perfectly balanced.

It like does all of those things just right.

And I'm really proud of that.

- So what are the hours that you all are open?

- So we are also a coffee shop in the morning.

We serve everything all day.

But we open at eight in the morning.

And then, typically, so our hours Thursday, Friday, Saturday, we're open from 8:00 in the morning 'til 9:00 at night.

- Okay.

- And then, on Wednesday and Sundays, we are open 8:00 AM to 2:00 PM.

So we just do kind of little half days on Wednesday and Sunday.

And then, we're open all day on Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

- And you said it's kind of like a honky tonk bar.

So do you have like country music in the back?

- I say that because I am a country gal.

And I love my country music.

But like right now, if you were at the bar, there would be...

I think there was Phil Collins playing when I left.

- Oh, I love it.

- There's like a lot a live Phil Collins album playing.

So yeah, we have... We have a...

It's a real family there.

We have a group of regulars.

There's a lot of life happening in our spot.

And it's really fun to see people explore it over time.

- This is the most fabulous.

I wish this wish you could make us even a whole bunch more, but... - I know, I brought...

I brought a bunch just to make it look good.

(all laugh) - And it tastes good, thank you so much.

The Nostalgia Room?

- Nostalgia Room.

- Well, I can't wait to invite my fellow "Inspire" sisters out there.

- Oh, come in.

- We're gonna be actually tearing up the town and hello.

- Please do.

- So looking forward to doing that.

- I'll tell you where to eat.

You'll come have some drinks.

We'll send you downtown.

Like, I grew up in Lawrence.

I'm a townie.

- [Danielle] Okay.

- I been there my whole life, so I know exactly where to send you for all your needs.

- And I love the fact that you promote everything.

I mean, you guys are all together and you're promotin' everything together.

- Yeah, yeah, we really believe that supporting each other is the key to what makes our little town work.

And it's why it's kinda magical when you step out of Topeka, Kansas City and come to Lawrence.

You know, we're kind of bringing that, bringing that vibe up.

- Well, I love that.

- Salute.

(all laugh) - It's the nostalgia room y'all.

And you could have a Teetotaler experience at The Nostalgia Room.

And thank you for sharing your business with us.

And we're going to have more discussion coming up on "Inspire".

So stay with us.

(upbeat music) - Well, as you can see, my Gimlet, that is a dry cocktail, is gone.

So we need you to fix something else, Emily.

What do you have?

- I can do that.

This is the Nostalgia Spritz.

This is a cocktail that actually one of my colleagues at the bar, she came up with this.

And her name is Rebecca Dreyfus.

And she runs our coffee program.

But she did a little bit of cocktail work for us here.

And the base spirit of this drink is called Figlia.

Figlia is Italian for daughter.

And the spirit was created by a woman who lost her dad to alcoholism.

And so, she made it kind of in the spirit of him and to create awareness of people with addiction issues.

So yeah, the spirit is really lovely.

We really like this one.

It's kind of like an Italian Aperitif.

And it's got notes of rose, and bitter clove, and orange.

- Oh, wow.

- So it's really nice.

- So we use that.

We do some orange cordial.

We do a little grapefruit juice, and then a little bit of what we call a strawberry shrub, which actually uses a little bit of vinegar.

So this is healthy for you.

- [Danielle] Wow.

- I had no idea so much went into this.

I mean, this is a craft to be proud of.

- [Emily] It is, it is.

We are so proud of what we do.

We really are.

- But I love all the meaning behind it too.

- It's a lot of intention.

- That that you're...

Yes, a lot of intention.

And so people, no matter if you have a problem with alcohol, or have had, or know somebody, everybody is welcome in the space.

- We serve people...

I mean, myself, I have substance abuse disorder.

And I have...

There's a lot of people that come to the bar that struggle that way.

And we kind of see each other.

We know each other and, you know, there's a lot of camaraderie there.

But then, there's also a lot of people that, just... Like, I have people who come because they lost their son to alcoholism.

So they don't drink because of that.

So there's a lot of... For every alcoholic and everybody that's, every person that's been through that or struggled with substance, there is at least one, at least one other person affected by it as well.

And that can change their drinking habits also.

- Have you found a lot of friendships being formed?

And I mean, not just the camaraderie, but I mean actual friendships and kind of healing and helping.

- Yeah, and and not in a like a... Not in an overt way.

- [Danielle] Right.

- It's happening really organically and really naturally.

And it doesn't feel like...

It's not AA.

It's not a meeting.

It's not therapy.

It's just like, this is... We're all socializing.

And the thing that's not being said is that there's no booze here.

And so, it's everything else.

And people sometimes actually come in not realizing that it's a dry space.

And they have three drinks and then they're like, oh, these don't have any alcohol.

And that surprises them 'cause they don't even realize they're like having such a great time.

- And you can have more fun.

- And I told them like, oh look, you had fun all on your own.

Did you know that?

You thought you needed the alcohol.

You thought you needed to loosen up.

But it turns out, you didn't.

(laughs) - Let's try this one.

- You're gonna like that one.

That looks like summer in a glass.

- Oh, it is.

Okay, now will you tell again what's in this?

- That's the Figlia, which is a spirit with rose, and clove, and bitter orange.

And then, we use some grapefruit juice, strawberry shrub that we make ourselves, and then the orange cordial here that we also make ourselves.

- See, this is not something you're gonna chug.

Not in this nice... - It's sippin'.

- You know, this is sippin'.

(laughs) - This is a very formal... - I thrift all of our glassware.

All of our glassware is secondhand and from thrift stores.

So it's all got a story.

It's all got a history.

And every glass you get is gonna be fun and different.

- Now, you do have a website.

Tell us about that.

- Indeed.

- Our website just, it lists our hours.

It has our menus.

We're gonna start offering some like dry bar catering services soon.

So that will also be there.

And then, we have a pretty prolific, pretty good Instagram page that we're really proud of that shows a lot about who we are and what we do.

- That's wonderful.

Thank you, Emily.

You have been a treat.

- Thanks, thank you!

(laughs) - Cheers, cheer to you.

- Cheers, everybody.

(upbeat music) - Such an eye opening discussion.

- Definitely.

- Wow, and there's so much more from both guests.

- Absolutely, and I have had a father who was an alcoholic.

And I've also been engaged to a man who was an alcoholic.

And I just really didn't know the distinctions between men and alcoholism and women and alcoholism.

So it was interesting having Nancy on talking about the distinctions.

- Right, and you mentioned also off camera about the Betty Ford movie.

- Yes, and just the way that she drank alone.

I mean, it started out with her just having a couple of cocktails.

- Sure.

- [Danielle] After, you know... - It was the thing to do back in the day.

- Exactly, a drink of wine here, a little cocktail, you know, being social.

And then, turned into more and more.

And then, as she had stresses maybe with her kids, it was a way to kinda unwind after a busy day.

And then, it became just more and more of a thing.

And then, her family noticed, okay.

She really is getting into this.

And then, they did an intervention.

And then, long story short, they ended up putting her into rehab.

And the way that they did rehab back in the day was to have mixed groups trying to do the sessions.

And when the Betty Ford Clinic became an actual clinic, they decided like, no women need to talk to women and guys need to talk to guys, just in terms of the way that they actually handle the conversations.

They're totally different.

So it's just really interesting to see the way that women, you know, deal with the topic versus the way that men do.

- And there's just so much to it as far as people realizing it is a disease.

- It is a disease.

- And you need to treat it as such.

And not just shun the person, you need to help.

- Not at all, not at all.

But sometimes it is just really easy because you see the symptoms and you don't necessarily think about the disease.

You just see what is on the surface as a symptom.

And you're just trying, like, why can't you get it?

You know, get it together.

- Right.

- But it's like, no, there's stuff underlying that really needs to be dealt with.

Well, that's what I loved about Nancy, New Dawn, talking about it could be so many things in your past, and so many things in with your family, your friends.

Things that maybe they didn't have any control over at the time that have affected them and brought 'em to that point.

- Trauma informed care, we're noticing that in so many different areas.

And this is no different.

- It's just, you know...

I'm just so glad that there are ways to get help and to help each other.

- But the whole thing is that people have to want to get help.

And that's the biggest issue is to actually make sure that the person really does want to get the help.

Because in the case of the person that I was with, he was not of the idea that he even was an alcoholic.

And so, it ended up tearing our relationship apart.

- That is all the time we have for today, a very important and serious topic.

We hope you have been inspired by the conversations.

And we thank Nancy Lollman of New Dawn Wellness and Recovery and Emily Kate Johnson of Nostalgia Room in Lawrence for joining us.

Don't forget, you can watch this program again at watch.ktwu.org.

- And if you are so inspired to learn more about our guests and to find out what is coming up on future shows, visit our website at www.ktwu.org/inspire.

Inspiring women, inspiring zero alcohol cocktails, and thinking before drinking.

Inspiring you on KTWU.

Thank you for watching.

(upbeat music) - [Announcer] "Inspire" is sponsored by the estate of Ray and Anne Goldsmith.

- [Announcer] And the Raymond C. and Marguerite Gibson Foundation and... - [Announcer] Friends of KTWU.

We appreciate your financial support, thank you.

(upbeat music)