- Knocking boots, doing the hanky-panky, shaking the sheets, making the soup.
- So, the first ones makes sense to me, but, what is sexy about making soup?
What does that have to do with anything?
- Listen, I was trying to be sexy here that's what my mom and pop-pop used to call it.
- You wanna make soup with me?
(both laughing) - For some reason, some people cringe at the thought of their grandparents having sex.
Some think it's weird, some think it's comical, but the joke's on them.
Alok, at what point in your lives do you think that people have the best sex of their lives?
- Well, I actually looked it up, my internet search history is a little weird right now, but I know the answer, but before we give it away, let's ask some of you what you think.
- At what age do you think people are the most happy with their sex life?
- Oh, never?
- Never!
(Sheena laughing) - Maybe like 24 to 26, somewhere in that range, maybe a little older.
- I'd put it like early 20s, towards the end of college.
- So, you're gonna be in your sexual peak two years from now, it's going downhill after that.
- I mean, I would prefer, you know, it stays, like it plateaus, right?
Instead of peaking.
- Okay.
- So, I want to say 30s, right?
I want to say like 30, 35.
I feel like that's when you're mature as a woman or as an individual.
- Anywhere between 20 and 50.
- That's a range.
It's not hormonally charged college kids.
It's not people in their 20s, it's not even people who are in their 30s according to a 2018 survey done by match.com, the people having the best sex of their lives are single women, aged 66 and single men, aged 64.
That sounds like something for a lot of people to look forward to.
When we started researching all this, I knew exactly who to call.
Dr. Louise Aronson is a geriatrician right here in San Francisco.
That means she specializes in treating older patients, this is her territory.
As I understand it, about 40% of adults between the age of 65 to 80 are having sex.
But even more of them wish they were.
Why is it only 40%?
- It turns out the number one reason people aren't having sex is because they don't have a partner, right?
People assume it has something to do with old age, but it's really practical.
The older we get, the more likely we are to be divorced, to have a partner die, to have a partner become ill.
So, it's not for lack of desire, right?
That's like a total myth.
- How much of the problem is physical, arthritis, hip replacements, you name it?
- You know, if you have arthritis or a hip replacement, you can get creative around that, right?
People with disabilities that they've had from childhood, they have sex.
We know when people are having trouble when they're younger, it's often up here, right?
It's not the body.
So, yeah, the body changes, but if you can have the brain change with it, if you can see it as an opportunity, not a disadvantage, if you can be creative, you can still have fun 'cause there are so many ways to be sexual and the imagination is the limit.
It doesn't matter how young or old you are.
- As a nurse, I know that medications can play a big impact, especially as you get older and you maybe on multiple medications at one time, what are some of the big ones that really affect you as you get older?
- So, blood pressure medicines, and we all know that like, that's one of the ones that almost everybody needs, even if they're healthier, as they get older.
And the other big one is sort of what we might call psychoactive so like, antidepressants, antianxiety medicines.
And we see a lot of that at all age groups.
I had a woman who was started by her cardiologist on something, and I happened to see her next.
And she's like, look, this is messing with our sex lives, it's not okay with either one of us, can you take care of this or do I have to go back to him?
No, I took care of it, I mean, you can be really popular if you take care of that problem, you know, they like you.
- For some men, the hydraulics may not work.
Your mind wants to get into it, but your body just sometimes doesn't rise to the occasion.
There's many different treatment options out there.
Some seniors use pills, you've probably seen the commercials.
What do you think about these ads?
- They're always really good looking and they're not really very old.
They're really like middle-aged people pretending to be old people who are better looking than regular people.
- So, have you seen people actually get false hope from these commercials?
They look at them, they say, "Oh, that's all I need to do."
But then, they get the pill, they do whatever their commercials says and they're still not satisfied with their sex life.
- Well, yeah, 'cause if some of it's up here or some of it's the deal with the partner, right?
Like, you can have one part in operation thanks to the pill, but it takes a little more than that to have a fully satisfying encounter.
- So, one thing that's really critical, if you want to make it work, it's not just about a magic pill.
You have to be healthy.
- Older adults that are in good health are nearly twice as likely to be sexually active than those older adults that are in poor health or even fair health.
And how you age has a lot to do with how you treat yourself when you're younger.
- One of the major causes of ED, that's erectile dysfunction, is poor circulation and that can be tied directly to heart health.
So, if you're in your 30s or 40s and you experience ED, even occasionally, that's a really important reason for you to go talk to your doctor and get your heart health checked out.
And, guess what?
ED happens to a lot of guys, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
- So, what can we do in our younger years when we're striving to live as long as possible, what can we do to maintain our sexual health so that we're ready and popping at 70 or 80, we still getting it in?
- It's by exercising regularly.
It's by eating that healthy sort of Mediterranean diet, all those things keep your blood vessels open, and when your blood is flowing, good things can happen during sex.
- The key here is to stay sexually fit.
Kegel exercises are for everyone, not just the ladies.
- There are real changes with aging and some of it is things getting looser and laxer.
So, you know, yeah, you're working out, but are you working out your nether regions too?
'Cause those things are gonna be important.
- There's an exercise for there too?
- There is exercise and you can do that anywhere and nobody will know, yeah.
- Okay, guys, do it on beat.
- I like it.
- Kegel, kegel, kegel.
- I'm doing them right now.
- Kegel.
(laughing loudly) - You can't see my nether regions on camera, but I'm kegelling.
- Kegel, kegel.
- There's something about your expression though that's kind of giving it away and I wouldn't do that on public transit.
(all laughing) - Is this better?
Do you think you'll be having sex at age 60, at age 80?
- I would absolutely say yes.
- Hopefully until it's no longer an option.
- I would hope so.
I hope people have long and fruitful sex lives, really.
- Oh, I love Will.
- I'll do that, Will.
- Now, I'm 50, I'm just of age.
(laughs loudly) - A seasoned woman.
- Yeah, seasoned.
I personally, I'm still good, I'm still good.
- Now, here's something that is not that fun to think about, but we have to anyway, we gotta talk about sexually transmitted diseases.
- When we talk about safe sex and STDs, the focus is usually on younger people, but it looks like our older generation can use a little sex ed too.
More than 90% of males over the age of 50, and please hear me, do not use a condom.
(inhales loudly) We're just gonna Woosah that through.
- A lot of the baby boomers, except for the youngest ones, they weren't around for AIDS, and they sort of thought of STDs as something that happened to other people, especially in a lot of communities.
So, they never really wore condoms except to avoid pregnancy.
- So, take home message, don't freak out.
Like many other things with our bodies, sex changes with time, as you get older, you don't have to have the same sex you were having when you were 20, 30 or 40.
Age gracefully, explore and try new intimate acts and redefine sex in any way that works for you.
- Be adventurous, I think, as you get older, you're a little more adventurous.
- Oh, definitely.
- Willing to experiment a little bit more.
- Yeah, more confident in your abilities, in your body and what you got going on, what you got to offer, you ready to just, you know.
- Bow chicka wow wow!
(all laughing loudly) - Are you older and with some sexual wisdom for the younger generation?
- Or, are you younger and curious about sex later in life?
Come talk to us over on PBS Vitals.
Thanks for watching.
- Keep it groovy people, safe, but groovy.
(soft music)
